Caught off guard

I'm at a dark place at the moment. It's a state of mind that I'm so familiar with but haven't experienced for a while. But now its back and of course it's caused by the ghost of an ex boyfriend. I didn't think he could put me in this condition any more. But here I am. Paralysed with my thoughts, and a feeling of emptyness. This wasn't the way I've planned it. You were the one who should run into me and my new handsome boyfriend, and I am the one who should have been beautifully pregnant. Luckily for me, a menthol cigarette on the balcony, is how rock n roll I get when I'm feeling blue.