Plötsligt händer det.

Ok, picture this. I'm in Italy, it's a warm summer night. I'm walking with this guy, having the most interesting and funny conversations. We've got the tension and the butterflies as well...

So what seems to be the problem. Well, nothing really. The remarkable thing is when I met this guy for the first time I had zero attraction. I Didn't feel attracted to his looks, his style, his physics, his skincolour, his features. Nothing. Zip. Zero. When I'm thinking of him right now, just like a frozen picture in my head, it's the same. Nothing. Zip. Zero.

However, as you might have guessed, his personality is great. He's ambitious, intelligent, funny, nice, energetic, social, and confident. It's strange, cuz during our process of getting to know each other, I of course noticed that there was a tention going on. Usually when I feel this tension I freak out, and start to analyse. This never happened though. He made me feel safe and confident with the situation. At one point, however, I did become very "tänkig" a la T-style, but he had the abiliy to get me to snap out of it. This without talking and analysing things. Only by he being himself, and me being me, we just were. Or as he would say. We just let it happen.

So I guess it's true. Personality is everything. I just haven't experienced it before.

Jetlaged

I'm so tired. Have only slept 20 hours for the last 4 nights. And that ain't much for being me. Can't write. Can't think. But I can qoute. During an interesting conversation, where the guy I was talking to claimed that men analyse things more than women, he said as follows:

women have four lips. 

thats why they talk so much

men have two heads. 

thats why they think so much.

Caught off guard

I'm at a dark place at the moment. It's a state of mind that I'm so familiar with but haven't experienced for a while. But now its back and of course it's caused by the ghost of an ex boyfriend. I didn't think he could put me in this condition any more. But here I am. Paralysed with my thoughts, and a feeling of emptyness. This wasn't the way I've planned it. You were the one who should run into me and my new handsome boyfriend, and I am the one who should have been beautifully pregnant. Luckily for me, a menthol cigarette on the balcony, is how rock n roll I get when I'm feeling blue.